Forum Babbles

Am I doing it right? Can I really do this?

6 replies

Hanneke
Suddenly the fear creeps in, no pink clouds, just panic... I think I'm between 6 and 8 weeks pregnant now, first appointment with the midwife next week. And even though we were really trying... I didn't expect to get pregnant so soon. I really love my boyfriend, but it all feels like it's happening so fast all of a sudden. My son is 7 and he's not my boyfriend's... My husband passed away a few years ago, and I'm scared... I was left alone back then. My boyfriend and I will have been together for 2 years soon, it feels like much longer to me, but it's still short, isn't it? And even though we've been living together for a while and everything is going fine, what will it be like later? We just bought a house and are going to renovate...

Are these the hormones and am I worrying about nothing? What if it all doesn't work out? And I'm also scared of people's reactions in my circle... Yeah, I know I probably don't need to, I'm usually so level-headed... and now I don't know anymore...

Glad to have shared my story...

Replies

  1. Irma 1987 #2

    Hi Hanneke,
    It's probably a mix of hormones and insecurity.
    But losing your husband isn't nothing, obviously.
    Does your little boy know yet?

    Talk about it with your friend, I assume she'll understand.
    And if it feels right, you haven't done anything wrong.

    It's quite different here.
    We're pregnant with our second, it's been over a year overdue.
    Very much wanted, but sometimes you feel guilty towards the first because he's the first, and then you think about how he'll react.

    He's a sweet little one, he'll be 3 in May.
    Now he'll have to share everything later on, but it'll work out fine.

    That's just the hormones and mom feelings, he's such a mama's boy.
    But it'll definitely be okay.

  2. nicole 1979 #3

    Dear Hanneke,
    I can totally understand and yes, it's probably the hormones.
    But it's not something to ignore.
    Let your midwife know; they might offer you some extra support. Good luck, girl!

  3. Hanneke started this #4

    Thanks for your sweet replies. We haven't told anyone yet... I'm also afraid that my son will end up on the second place without even realizing it, and that he'll really become the stepchild.
    What I don't think is true.

  4. Irma 1987 #5

    Oh no, really?
    It’s your child after all.
    Does he accept your partner?
    I assume he does, since he was still quite young when your partner came into the picture.

    But maybe talk to your mom about it too.

  5. Hanneke started this #6

    Yes, he totally accepts him, he really sees him as his dad.. I'm really happy about that. And he's also really the type of guy born to be a father..

  6. nicole 1979 #7

    If you involve your son fully, a beautiful bond forms early on.
    I'm pregnant with a new baby now too, and I involve my boys completely—from ultrasounds to check-ups to picking out the room, etc.
    They really enjoy it.

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