busy little guy

Hope someone can give me advice and what you all think about it.

First of all, I think the teacher is really incompetent. A hyperactive child isn't so much "hyper" but has more energy.
She needs a different approach by the teacher, it can't be that your son is only seen as hyper and annoying, and that this only ends up on your plate...
I would also look into what the homeopathic remedies could mean...
For now, maybe look for another offer... from a different kind of teacher. It's very strange that she gets so angry at him. I really find it incompetent.

Maybe it's indeed not a very nice teacher, she's definitely not my favorite, but who says I won't run into his teacher again at elementary school.

But just to be clear, I don't think my child is only noisy and annoying.

I didn't say that either... I think you just get insecure because of such weird people.
And that's why, if I were you, I'd look for a school where you feel good, but also where your son feels good...
Maybe you could have a chat or something like that.
If I were you, I wouldn't leave anything to chance.

Hi!

Have you seen the movie Brammetje Baas? It might give you some ideas.

Here are two busy kids. One of them has ADHD traits along with ODD and attachment issues. And sometimes he gets depressed. We tried medication for the ADHD, but we really didn't like it at all. He changed so much that he didn't feel like our child anymore.

I would definitely not start with medication at such a young age, even if it is ADHD. He's still so young; who knows, maybe he's just bored, and maybe primary school will give him more fulfillment.

I think you're doing great! Talk to the teacher, see if something can be done. Stand up for your son. Often it's just the teacher's lack of knowledge. Unfortunately, we've been dealing with this for years. Be proactive and get involved early.

Wishing you lots of success!

Mavanmi didn't get the impression that you meant it that way, but she would find it annoying if someone actually got that impression, hence the comment.

And thanks for your reply, Beertje.
Good luck with your kids too!

Well, here’s a daughter of just 3 who is also super busy! She doesn’t play with one thing for long; first she wants to color for 10 minutes, then she grabs the beads, and after playing with the beads for 3 minutes, she picks something else again. It’s the same at daycare. There, they found it a miracle that she sat quietly "reading" a book for a whole quarter of an hour. She also jumps and dances around all day long; I get tired just watching her, haha, but this one really has too much energy. Sometimes I call her little ADHD and drama queen because as soon as she doesn’t get her way, she starts crying. I don’t give in, but I manage it because if I give in once, she’ll do it every time. Luckily, she’s very sweet and cuddly otherwise, and she usually tidies up her toys herself, so at daycare they think she’s a sweet child. She’s just a bit energetic and wants to do everything at once, and has trouble concentrating too. I’ve discussed that because I sometimes find it difficult myself, especially when she’s not shy and is so busy in public that I can’t even take her to an appointment. During a simple 5-minute GP visit, she can’t sit still for a second and empties the entire toy box in 3 minutes. She’s also always clearly present. But even the GP doesn’t find it a problem. One child is just a bit busier than another, and medication is not a solution or option either. Kids nowadays get labeled "ADHD" too often and too quickly! Every child processes life differently, haha. I think I’d also be busy wanting to discover and challenge everything if I were just 3 years old. 2 is the toddler puberty, but that carries on for some even after their third year. Once she’s 4, I’ll put her in a sport so she can burn off some energy. I also notice that she’s a bit less busy after a day at daycare because she’s already played around energetically with others there and gets tired earlier. Such a long story, haha.. I just wanted to let you know that you’re not the only one with a present child, haha. And don’t label your child too quickly. Blame it on the age.

Wasn't finished yet.. When he goes to school later, he'll probably be a bit less high-strung too. That one grumpy teacher probably finds it exhausting to deal with him, and that's understandable. I sometimes get tired of my girl too, but I'm very aware that she's only a little 3-year-old. Some find it harder than others.. It'll probably work out as they get older. You just have some very calm and some very active kids. Nothing wrong with that, right. Don't let it get to you and remember it's probably just a phase. Before you know it, they'll be older and wiser

I just couldn't resist replying to your story. It felt like you were describing my son!
I didn't have any issues at the toddler playgroup, but with my son it started when he was 4.
Right at the start of primary school, exactly as you described.
I didn't worry too much about the teachers, but I did rein in my little boy a bit and sometimes completely ignored his clownish behavior. By age 7, he had completely outgrown that behavior.
I now have a son who's over 17, very calm, and nothing like that little boy he used to be!
So don't let yourself get too worked up for now! He's only 3.5 and still a CHILD!

GOOD LUCK!

Thank you for your replies, it does me good.

We ourselves are incredibly proud of our boy. As I also wrote, he is very caring. If someone falls or is sad, he is the first to ask if you're okay and if he can do anything to help. And then I'm so proud. And that boisterousness just belongs to a boy's nature (sometimes a bit less boisterous haha).

We always say a golden package:
Loving, caring, funny, wild, and a cute face.

And fortunately, every mother is so proud of her own child!!! That's what we mothers are for

But you see that someone else only sees the negative, and that is so frustrating when you realize that he is then held accountable for it. And that worries me for primary school. How will that go? I'm afraid he'll have an angry teacher regularly. (Because unfortunately, I now have the experience that if they don't know about a little fight between my son and another child, they already assume it's his fault.)

But it's nice to hear your experiences, and that more challenge might do him good too.

I'm not going to let myself get worked up anymore.
Thanks mothers x

Oh, such a relatable story. I only have a girl and she’s a bit less rough. She just has a very feisty personality. If she doesn’t get her way, she can nag for half an hour to an hour. Then I do have to calm her down by holding her and explaining later that it’s not possible.

I also notice that it’s worse with my daughter when she’s tired or hungry. Punishment often doesn’t help; she just gets more upset. And of course, she does get punished sometimes; she’s naughty sometimes, and that’s okay.

I think it’s not great of the caregiver at daycare to get angry at him. Maybe she should approach him differently. If he only gets attention from her with negative behavior, he’ll probably show more of it.

What I often notice, by the way, is that kids are often more caring. I notice that here too, and she’s also very observant. She’s the first to notice if you’ve been to the hairdresser or bought new clothes. You also mentioned that your son is so caring.

I’d say have a good talk with the caregiver and later with the stepparent you choose. Every child is different and sometimes needs a different approach. They can guide him and you well if it’s done right.

Good luck with it!

Deedee012 thanks!
It's so nice to hear about your little girl. And I totally agree with you—punishment doesn't always make sense. Love and talking can do so much more, especially when it's due to tiredness or hunger.

And it's funny what you said about attention-seeking behavior. I completely relate to what you're saying—he just can't resist trying to get noticed by doing something.

I think that's a topic for a chat at daycare. And before he starts primary school, definitely have that conversation too.

Anonymous, how are things now with you and your little boy? Have you been able to talk to the teacher yet? I'm curious how it's going...