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I found out today that I’m pregnant...
Before this, my boyfriend and I had been trying to get pregnant for a year. Six weeks ago, we had a fight and decided to take a break for now, but we were still trying to make things right. Two weeks ago, I had a fling with a good friend of ours. Now it turns out I’m pregnant... This is definitely not from my (ex)boyfriend. What do I do now ???????
Replies
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Do Guest #2
Own fault and literally a big bump soon.
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Ik1987 started this #3
If I let it go and can just stay quiet about it, maybe it’ll work out after all. I just don’t know if I can do that... And yeah, it’s my own fault. -
Nannie ❤ #4
What are your feelings for that other one? -
:-) #5
Wow, that’s bold!
Posting as a guest like that.
People here are seriously asking for help, and then you throw a dig at them. Bah!
Ik1987
This is such a rotten situation.
And if your boyfriend is still your ex, I’d definitely sort out my feelings before becoming the “father” of this baby, as Pien said.
Strength to you! -
My1987 #6
If you decide to have it removed, there are risks involved too!
There's a chance you could become less fertile.
I would indeed suggest getting a DNA test done to figure out who the father is.
I would really think carefully about whether you'd actually want to have it removed.
Good luck with your decision. -
sunshine Guest #7
My1987, how do you come to the conclusion that she has a reduced chance of fertility? That's actually not true:
Infertility
It is still often thought that abortion leads to infertility or other complications. An abortion does not cause damage to the uterus or ovaries. It does not affect your fertility. The chance of having children is just as great as if you had not undergone an abortion. -
sunshine Guest #8
Copied the above info from a clinic. -
sunshine Guest #9
Unless there's an infection. But on the other hand, antibiotics are usually prescribed after an abortion, which you take for a week to prevent any potential infections. I've had an abortion myself and am still super fertile; I've already had two healthy kids and am now pregnant with the third
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My1987 #10
I've read and heard from multiple people that after an abortion, there's a lower chance or it takes longer to get pregnant. -
Nannie ❤ #11
Yeah, and act like an hour or so doesn't matter much... antibiotics are crap for your body! -
sunshine Guest #12
Oh, I’ve done my research, okay! The risk of reduced fertility only comes into play with complications, and there are very few of those with such a procedure. The chance of a complication is practically zero, which is why antibiotics are given to make that already tiny risk even smaller. And "crap"? Pff, I could list a whole bunch of everyday products that are also "crap," so let's not open that can of worms. I’m not in favor of abortion either, but there are cases where the option is better than keeping the pregnancy. That’s a very personal thing. So don’t try to attack my info. Let me, 1987, decide what’s best for myself! -
My1987 #13
I'm not attacking anyone; you'd be better off saying that about yourself. I'm just sharing my opinion on how I see and experience things. What she does with it is up to her. You immediately jump in with a condescending response. But I've said my piece and won't be engaging further. -
Anonymous Guest #14
A 13-year-old girl is allowed to have an abortion but an adult woman isn't?! That's a bit twisted, Pien. -
Nannie ❤ #15
I'm not attacking you, okay? But there are plenty of people who think, "Oh, a little course won't hurt," and I just wanted to mention that. As for daily products, I totally agree with you—they're full of junk, which is why we try to consume them as little as possible.
I hope you make a wise decision. It would never leave your mind anyway. -
Nannie ❤ #16
The consequences for a thirteen-year-old or an adult woman, and the responsibility that comes with being at that age, is a big difference. And I mentioned that it depends on how far along she is.
And by the way, I’m not saying she shouldn’t have an abortion. You’re clearly looking for a debate. -
:-) #17
Totally agree with my87 and Pien! -
Deedee Guest #18
Wow, what a discussion here haha. I1987 follow your heart, girl. If you're sure it's from that fling, then think about whether you want a child and also from him. Maybe you can talk to him about it and you can solve it together. I don't know if you have feelings for each other? Maybe he wants to keep it and build a relationship with you or at least a friendly relationship and still raise the child together. Then at least you're not alone because having a child is a life-changing event. I don't know if your ex would forgive you and want to raise the child with you or if you're back together with him at all? And I see a whole discussion about abortion, but if you really can't figure it out and don't want to be a single mom or aren't in this situation, then abortion is an option.. Anyway, I wish you lots of strength, because a pregnancy is not something you just do. Love -
Linda #19
I'm 1987, I went through something similar 7 years ago. Just broke up with my ex, got a new boyfriend, and boom, pregnant. I wasn't sure whose baby it was, but I was absolutely sure I didn't want my ex back.
I thought it over carefully and chose a termination (within 5 weeks). A difficult choice, it stays with you forever, indeed. I needed a lot of time to process the loss of my baby, because that's what it is. But it's a choice I still stand 100% behind. Lots of sadness, but no regret.
The best advice I can give you is not to make the decision too hastily, but also not to wait too long. Do what you fully stand behind, and don't let others influence you. I told both possible fathers at the time, and they didn't want anything to do with it, then they did, then they didn't... You're the one who has to live with it in the end!
Good luck and lots of strength. It's a f***ing situation anyway!
Oh, and the idea that you're less fertile after an abortion is just scaremongering! I've been in a lovely relationship for years now, stopped the pill, and was pregnant the very next month! I'm now over 21 weeks and everything is going really well!
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