Man keeps drinking and doesn't understand me.

He came out, that shot went down the wrong pipe and he really thought it was nonsense and ridiculous. He got very angry and started screaming etc. Besides that, I got all sorts of things thrown at my head like:
He regrets me
He regrets all of this
Without me he could have had a nice life
That I should stop whining once and for all
Etc etc. What should I do?

Oh my, girl. What a complicated situation. I can imagine this is really tough for you.
At least try to stay calm yourself; that’s the most important thing right now. For you and for your baby. And don’t engage in any arguments when alcohol is involved.
Does he say things like this to you often?

Hi Beertje,
He should’ve already stopped having that first beer... I’m not a professional, but this seems problematic to me. I hope you have someone you can call when your man has had too much to drink and labor starts.
You could talk to him when he’s sober. But in my opinion, he’s already gone too far and shouldn’t drink even a drop now.
Strength and enjoy your big belly for now!

Your priority right now is to take good care of yourself and your baby. Think carefully about what you both need and make sure you get it.
Unfortunately, you can’t force a man to do or not do something. But you can make it clear that certain behavior has consequences. And that could mean he won’t be there for the birth of his child. That’s his responsibility, not yours.
Your responsibility lies with your baby, making sure they’re safe and loved. And caring for your baby starts now, so you should take it very seriously.
I want to emphasize again: take care of yourself and your baby. Your husband is old enough to take care of himself and take responsibility. If he doesn’t, that’s his problem.
I wish you lots of strength and wisdom.

Oh my, what complicated situations!! I understand he wants to have one beer, 1-2 should be the max. I would bring up the conversation at a calm time. Probably he's also nervous about the birth and what's waiting for him. I would make the conversation really intense because you can't rely on him like this if it starts at night. I would have a conversation about that and that you can otherwise make sure you can ask someone else to call you if the labor starts. Don't make it an argument but more about responsibility towards your child. That if he experiences it this way that he was happier before bla bla bla. Well, he's not chained, he's responsible for himself and not fair to throw it back at your head. Due to hormones etc., you might also experience it differently and react differently. Good luck, I hope he realizes that this can't be! But the more often you let this behavior happen, the more often you can expect it. I really say to put your foot down and otherwise stick to your own plans!! STRENGTH

Keep us posted, okay?

Had a fight here too last weekend. We've been together for 16 years, have two little boys, and are currently pregnant with #3. I was so fed up with his behavior. Drinking, always wanting to go out after work. I felt more like his housekeeper than his wife. So I told him I'd be away for a few days to clear my head and see if I missed him and if he'd miss me. I was away from Wednesday to Friday, and it worked out—he had to change or I'd probably have asked for a divorce.

What a nasty situation!!! I wouldn't put it down to your hormones that you might react differently; I think that, as you described it, you're not being demanding or anything like that. He really shouldn't be drinking more than one beer now! He's also responsible for your baby, and if he can't take that responsibility, then you'll have to do it too, no matter how rotten it is!!
Because beer and friends should NEVER come before your wife and unborn baby!!
I hope you have someone who could possibly take you to the hospital!
Sending you lots of strength!!!!

Sorry, but hormones have nothing to do with this here. Your husband just isn't taking responsibility. 1 beer, what do you mean 1 beer! You shouldn't have any alcohol at all when driving. 1 beer can also go wrong. He needs to make sure he's sober when you have to go to the hospital. You're at the end of your pregnancy and hopefully have been alcohol-free for 9 months, and he doesn't have the discipline to skip that beer for those 2 or 3 weeks. My God, what is 2 weeks compared to a human life? Once the little one is here, he can make up for it. Some men underestimate how heavy a pregnancy and childbirth can be. He should be there for you now and not be so selfish. Anyway, he needs to realize that having a child comes with responsibility and that he needs to start acting mature. Maybe he's nervous about everything, yes, that's possible, but then he'll need to find a better way to deal with it. You're absolutely right to be disappointed and angry at your husband, and don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong. What does he expect when he's drunk and you start having contractions that you'll drive yourself to the hospital? He should be ashamed!

How are you doing now?

Hey girls,

What a nasty story. I've read all the messages here and see that you've already received a lot of advice. I just want to tell you: don't make hasty decisions. Yes, it's a really rotten situation, and I can't find any words to justify the fact that he drinks so much—it's truly irresponsible.

The only thing I would do if I were in your shoes is have another conversation with him. Tell him that if he has been drinking, there's a high chance he won't be able to be there for the birth. I'd also let a friend or someone in your immediate circle who you're close with know about this issue. So you have someone to call in case of an emergency, for example, to drive you to the hospital, or maybe even be present at the birth if your husband has had too much to drink and isn't capable of doing so.

Personally, I think splitting up for a bit or permanently doesn't seem like a good decision right now (no judgments). It's already pretty intense what you're going through, and I think you'd just get more stressed if you make such a big decision now.

Do you have any idea how he views his drinking behavior once the baby is born?

Wishing you lots of strength, girl. I hope you'll soon have a beautiful, healthy baby in your arms, and that your husband will quickly realize that this can't go on any longer and take responsibility!
Hugs to you!

Hi Beertje,

The situation is a mess. You have the right to be firm with him, and you should just do that. Don't regret any of this; he's the one who needs to adjust. But be very clear with him about what really matters. Point 1 is that he's allowed to drink, but not now when you could give birth to your baby at any moment. That's not something up for discussion. If he gets angry about that, he can just get out the door. No taking those words back; he needs to clearly understand that these are serious matters and that he needs to comply. If not, well... you see that hole? That door? If you're not willing to adjust in the coming weeks, if you're not willing to do this for your wife and your child, then he can just get out the door. I understand your emotions are running high right now, and this is definitely a big issue, but you're also obligated to do this for yourself and your children. He's walking all over you. If he says now that he's not going to adjust to this, then you simply have a problem that you need to solve yourself. Then quickly arrange for someone else to go with you. Men can sometimes be tough on pregnant women, show little understanding for emotions, and sometimes play fast and loose with your feelings. So... be firm and clear for a moment; if you don't, this really won't work out. The last thing your husband said, about offering apologies, I was already completely furious; if he were my husband, he should have packed his bags long ago. Sometimes men need to feel that they have something to lose.

Strength! These are exciting times, 37.5 weeks!

Hi sweetie, what a rotten situation.
Since you need to vent here, I think you're really not happy...
Ask yourself honestly: Am I happy? Does this man make me happy?
Does he respect me? Does he hold me in high regard? Is he always there for me?
Honestly, I think you're a wonderful person and you deserve better.

Little one, I read your story and for a moment I thought it was about someone I know... I can so relate to it...
I want to ask you to take good care of yourself and your little one. Believe me, this task will fall on you. You won't get help from someone who drinks so much and does their own thing... I hope with all my heart that I'm wrong, and I'm sure you also still believe things will change once the little one is here... honestly, I don't think so...
That person I know has 3 kids and is now further along in a divorce...
I hope things go better for you!

How are things now?