3rd trimester
Extremely scared of the birth.
bloempjuh
Hi Ladies,
I’m currently at 37 weeks of my second pregnancy. Aside from some standard pregnancy aches, it’s been a really nice pregnancy. However, I’ve barely slept at all for the past two weeks and am completely overwhelmed with stress... stress about the birth.
It’s not that I’m afraid of the contractions, the pain they bring, or other crazy things; I managed that last time, so we’re just going to 'do it one more time' .
My previous birth went smoothly and quickly. At night 'some back pain' that kept getting worse, I arrived at the hospital at 7:30 AM. The back labor contractions became increasingly painful, and around 9 AM my waters broke, followed by a contraction storm that was quite intense. My healthy son was born at 1:16 PM, so it was a smooth birth.
Now, during the pushing phase, I tore terribly—really terribly. Many women say they don’t feel this during childbirth, but I definitely did.
It was so extreme that even the gynecologist had to consult on how to stitch it up and whether it was even sensible to stitch it.
They didn’t stitch everything because they were afraid of causing more damage and leaving me numb in places where you’d rather not be.
Now, 6 years later, it has healed, but there’s a missing piece in my inner labia. I also still have pain in the area where it was so extreme, really terrible.
With the next birth approaching, I’m extremely afraid of what might get damaged now, how much pain I’ll endure this time, and since they couldn’t say for sure last time whether it would heal well or if I’d still have sensation, I’m completely terrified that this birth will ruin everything.
I’m extremely afraid of tearing again like that, and I’m dreading the birth.
I also don’t know what to do about it. Everyone just says, "Oh, it’ll be fine, it worked out last time..." Yes, that’s true, it worked out last time, but you don’t know what I went through.
Does anyone have experience with this or tips?
I’m currently at 37 weeks of my second pregnancy. Aside from some standard pregnancy aches, it’s been a really nice pregnancy. However, I’ve barely slept at all for the past two weeks and am completely overwhelmed with stress... stress about the birth.
It’s not that I’m afraid of the contractions, the pain they bring, or other crazy things; I managed that last time, so we’re just going to 'do it one more time' .
My previous birth went smoothly and quickly. At night 'some back pain' that kept getting worse, I arrived at the hospital at 7:30 AM. The back labor contractions became increasingly painful, and around 9 AM my waters broke, followed by a contraction storm that was quite intense. My healthy son was born at 1:16 PM, so it was a smooth birth.
Now, during the pushing phase, I tore terribly—really terribly. Many women say they don’t feel this during childbirth, but I definitely did.
It was so extreme that even the gynecologist had to consult on how to stitch it up and whether it was even sensible to stitch it.
They didn’t stitch everything because they were afraid of causing more damage and leaving me numb in places where you’d rather not be.
Now, 6 years later, it has healed, but there’s a missing piece in my inner labia. I also still have pain in the area where it was so extreme, really terrible.
With the next birth approaching, I’m extremely afraid of what might get damaged now, how much pain I’ll endure this time, and since they couldn’t say for sure last time whether it would heal well or if I’d still have sensation, I’m completely terrified that this birth will ruin everything.
I’m extremely afraid of tearing again like that, and I’m dreading the birth.
I also don’t know what to do about it. Everyone just says, "Oh, it’ll be fine, it worked out last time..." Yes, that’s true, it worked out last time, but you don’t know what I went through.
Does anyone have experience with this or tips?
Replies
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MissMedallion Guest #2
Hi Bloempjuh,
Pfff, that sounds intense! I can totally imagine you dreading it. I tore during both births too—not as badly as you, and less with the second than the first—but I definitely felt it happening during labor!
Have you talked to your partner or midwife/OB about it? Maybe they have some tips. I’m not sure if you’re planning a hospital birth? I heard that, for example, a water birth can reduce the risk of tearing, but I don’t know if that’s an option for you.
Other than that, the only thing I can say is—though it’s really hard—try to let go a bit. All these worries won’t help prevent anything.
I hope it’s not too bad! Good luck with the final stretch and your birth!
Love
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